“I am creating an atmosphere! Oh, Unc, we’ve finally got bodies in this joint! Paying bodies. We could have a good racket going here.” “I’m not interested in a ‘racket.’ I’m an academic.” “That’s okay, Unc. I won’t hold it against you.”

“I believe in love at first sight, and I believe that’s what we’ve got going here. I was willing to die for you. I’m sure as hell not going to pass up a chance to live with you.”

“I’ve learnt that you’ve got to be really non-apologetic... You’ve got to say, ‘Hi, I’m here, can I have a cup of tea? And one of those biscuits?’ If you say that, it’s fine. If you go in and say, ‘Excuse me, I’m a transvestite, I’ll be in the corner, I won’t be a problem, I’ll face away,’ everyone will go, ‘Oh-oh, problem case in the corner.’ So don’t apologise.”

“I can see that you’re down in the dumps, Unc. Shall we stop working and call Toni?”“And then what?”“I don’t know. But if it so happens that I’m more of your type . . . Would you like me to give you a blow job? That really does the trick when you’re feeling depressed.”

“I came here to be happy, and I’m going to be happy. If I smile, then maybe I can convince my body just how happy I am.”

“We had some good fun together, didn’t we? That’s why I’m sorry to say I’m going to have to kill you.”