“I'm going to eviscerate you and leave your organs on a pike in the yard as a warning to those who wear large jewelry.”

“Wait your turn, Lion, or I’ll be wearing your eyeballs as jewelry. (Savitar)”

“Like your sweet, affectionate house cat, Alice Dahl is easy to underestimate. It’s not until the songbirds in the yard show up eviscerated on the front porch that you realize you should’ve kept that bell collar on her—because those poor birds never even saw her coming.”

“Those of you in the cheaper seats can clap your hands, and those of you in the balcony can just rattle your jewelry.”

“never trust a man who wears a pinkie ring. . . the only jewelry a guy should wear is a wedding band or a super bowl ring”

“What color are your panties?""Excuse me?""You heard me.""Why?""Baby, if I'm going to take you into a room full of men wearing that dress, I'm damn well going to be the only one who knows the color of your panties.”