“J.T Woodland, known as “the cute one” in The Corporation’s seventh-grade boy band, Boyz Will B Boyz. Due to the success of their triple-platinum hit, “Let Me Shave Your Legs Tonight, Girl,” Boyz Will B Boyz ruled the charts for a solid eleven months before hitting puberty and losing ground to Hot Vampire Boyz.”

“TooDamn-Funky: It's a start, ok. Been thinking bout the boyz. 'member last year my bro did that immersion thing in Venezuela?Kciker5525: Where he learned to speak Spanish???TooDamn-Funky: Yeah! u go for 2 weeks talk nothing but Spanish u come back fluent. Kicker5535: ...????TooDamn-Funky: Well this is like a guy immersion program!Kicker5525: So...what. I'm going 2 b fluent in GUY?TooDamn-Funky: Exactly! u will c what they talk about alone. U will c how they r with each other. U will c how they THINK!! AND WHEN IT'S DONE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO WRITE A GUY GUIDE BOOK!!Kicker5525: U r deranged.”

“... Brandon's going to talk to a B-O-Y, and -""What?""That's your assignment tonight. You converse in public with a boy. You've heard of them, right? They're like girls, but with penises?”

“Boys don't hit girls.”

“In seventh grade, false feelings and false faces are the rule.”

“If the girl could only have spoken to the other boys and girls, the ones that had followed the golden-eyed boy before her, she would have known that there is always something left to lose.”