“New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period.Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes andin your pants.”

“Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants.”

“Here is one of the great truths of the human condition: when you need Stayfree Maxi Pads to absorb the expectorants produced by your insulted body, you are in serious fucking trouble.”

“Tibby, you are crazy," Carmen said. "Those pants are in love with you. They want you for your body and your mind." She couldn't help seeing the pants in a completely new way.”

“Because being assaulted with maxi pads is a great way to win friends and influence people.”

“Go home, kiss your wives, hug your children and put your affairs in order, because tomorrow I will burn your neighborhood to the ground. We will kill you, your families, your neighbors, your pets, and anyone who will stand in our path. An attack on my family will not go unpunished.”