“You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.”

“I knew it. You’re an alien,” said her former best friend, the pale, bespectacled creature with the spectacular cleavage. “Yes, I’m an alien and I still made cheerleader. And now I’m going to steal your boyfriend to prove girls can’t really be friends.” “I sat back timidly when you torched my house, killed my parents, and ate my dog. But now you’re stealing my boyfriend? That’s a step too far!”

“I changed my mind. Get out of my house now. I'll set your things on fire and mail you the ashes.”

“My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It's like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage "If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours." I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex boyfriend. That's just a chance you have to take.”

“Please forgive my appearance. I am lately come from setting a house on fire.”

“I'm going to kill Fairy Tale Dora and my little dog too.”