“His undies had ridden up into the crack of his narrow ass, of which I was treated to a full view of as he turned and tried to go as quietly as possible up the stairs.”

“He turned to look at the door and narrowed his eyes. So, Rule Number One, apparently, was that he wasn’t allowed to crack a smile during foreplay. “Got it,” he muttered to himself as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side before stepping up to the door and throwing it open.”

“He was going to be armed with his wand - which, just now, felt like nothing more than a narrow strip of wood - against a fifty-foot-high, scaly, spike-ridden, fire-breathing dragon.”

“I'm not going near anything that's going in the crack of his ass!”

“But she wished she had had the guts to go up to him and say hello. Or possibly break his legs, she wasn't sure which.”

“Agh-uhh!” the baboon grunted. He turned and waddled up the stairs. Unfortunately, the Lakers jersey didn’t completely cover his multicolored rear.”