“…The first wave of vampires hit the stairs then, a cascade of tip-tapping feet and dark-spangled hatred.”

“Who. Hit. You?”

“At least you're not being attacked by vampires anymore. That's something.”

“His undies had ridden up into the crack of his narrow ass, of which I was treated to a full view of as he turned and tried to go as quietly as possible up the stairs.”

“Shanks moaned, stirring. “You broke my nuts”So that was what my elbow had hit. “Sorry.” My voice cracked.”

“I hit the dance floor, wincing a little bit as the DJ looped feedback through the throbbing of a useless song about someone playing poker with his face or something.”

“First one's free”