“This episode of my life is brought to you by the letters W, t, and F. I do not understand.”

“No, seriously,' choked Sam, his eyes streaming. 'You're such a loser, that you've actually stopped losing and have progressed to having just lost. It's over. The game is over. You have lost the game of life. Do not pass Go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.”

“There was a crackle. Kobe's voice came through the cans. "What would you guys do," he said, apropos of nothing, "if Jules turned into a lizard?"Another crackle. "Hey!" Jules said."It wouldn't happen," said Jacob, and I saw him shrug in the half-light."But what if?"I pressed the talk button on my cans. "There's an old fish tank in our garage," I said. "I'd put Jules in it, and then get a heat rock from the pet shop."I heard Sam's low chuckle. "Make sure you wash your hands first.""Why?""So you don't get any lizardy diseases.""I don't have any lizardy diseases!" Jules's voice was getting higher."Not yet, but wait until you're a lizard.""What's a heat rock?" asked Jacob."It's a rock," I told him, "that you heat up. Lizards like them. Anyway, once I'd done that, I'd take you to see my cousin Adam.""IS HE A WIZARD?”

“I think that sometimes the whole larger-than-life gay thing is just another kind of closet. It's easier to be different if you're very different, if you go all-out on purpose. Because that way you can still hide who you really are.”

“And hither and thither fly--Mere puppets they, who come and go, At bidding of vast formless things, that shift the scenery to and fro.'"His voice was hushed and whispery in the earphones. "Mere puppets," he repeated. "It's Edgar Allen Poe.""So are we the vast formless things?""Yep."I grinned up at him. "Are you calling me fat and unshapely?"His low laugh tickled my ears. "Quite the contrary," he said. "Jacob can be vast, and I shall be formless. Your form is very pleasing.”

“Finally getting that sex change? I'm proud of you, brother. I mean, sister.”

“Ava darling, I am willing to admit that these stage crew freaks you hang out with are not entirely made of evil. But please, for the love of Han Solo, don't make me eat fish and chips with them. I just ate two pancakes and a quite disgusting sausage, and If I don't get some salad soon I honestly might die.”