“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”

“Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.”

“If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed!”

“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.”

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”

“I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”