“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.”

“Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.”

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”

“Growing up in Michigan was fine...until I realized where I was.”

“Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them. ”

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”