“So if you've had a good time tonight, or if you've had a good time any night, for gosh sake's why not drop a dollar in the mail to me?”

“Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.”

“I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.”

“Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?”

“When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”

“The road to success is always under construction”

“The best mind altering drug is the truth.”