“It's not just the cheerleading thing I have a problem with, it's the whole jock enchilada. I'm all for a good game of basketball in teh driveway or a killer bike ride. But when there's tackling and grunting involved-- no thanks.”

“I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can”

“If you believe in your heart that you are right, then you must fight with all your might to do it your way. Only dead fish swim with the stream all the time.”

“Nothing you think at twenty-five is so.”

“If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?”

“Life is like riding a bike. It is impossible to maintain your balance while standing still.”

“I have brain damage, remember? I'm not responsible for my actions--or for the actions of my hand, which acted of its own volition and without my knowledge.' Cam to Bailey”