“My favorite aerobic activity is reading steamy romantic thrillers. I figure an increased heart rate is an increased heart rate. Why quibble about methodology?”

“That's what you need to be writing about. Not the increased crime rate, but the increased tolerance for criminals to do whatever they want and not be held accountable.”

“Your heart beat is my favorite thing to listen to. When you look at me and your heart rate jumps.”

“... economists recognize that, other things equal, cuts in tax rates reduce tax revenues in percentage terms by less than the tax-rate reductions. Similarly, tax-rate increases do not raise tax revenues by as much in percentage terms as the tax-rate increases. This is true because changes in marginal tax rates alter taxpayer behavior and thus affect taxable income.”

“There's conflict on every continent, the poverty rate is increasing, the environment's a wreck, and I'm not supposed to be affected?”

“Dear mom, My lieutenant is a prostitute. Can you please send me more lunch money, as her rates have recently increased.”