“XEROX AND WURLITZER HAVE ANNOUNCED THEYWILL MERGE TO MARKET REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS”

“I have a real low tolerance for parasites, and you're so close to the limit that I'm already reaching for the flea powder.”

“Don’t kiss me,” she said warningly.“I don’t intend to,” he replied, smiling a little. “I don’t have my whip and chair with me.”

“I have brain damage, remember? I'm not responsible for my actions--or for the actions of my hand, which acted of its own volition and without my knowledge.' Cam to Bailey”

“If you're looking for Mr. Perfect, you‟re going to spend your whole life being disappointed, because he doesn‟t exist. You have to get the best deal you can, but there will always be problems.”

“What good is having a friend who's a cop if he won't give me inside information?""So you can ask him to look at a piece of shit pistol after you've already bought it, and pronounce it a piece of shit.”

“...We have seven people who knew the skewers were there: the wedding planner, the reception hall manager, the dressmaker, the florist, the veil-maker, the cake-maker, and the caterer. I haven't ruled out the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker, either. ”