“I had the misfortune of meeting Chuck Traynor. He started out as a nice person and then did a complete 180 and beat me up from that day forward, physically, mentally, and psychologically. The psychological damage will never go away”

“Everyone that watches "Deep Throat" is watching me being raped. ”

“In our family "whim-wham" is code, a defanged reference to any number of moods and psychological disorders, be they depressive, manic, or schizoaffective. Back in the 1970s and '80s - when they were all straight depression - we called them "dark nights of the soul." St. John of the Cross's phrase ennobled our sickness, spiritualized it. We cut God out of it after the manic breaks started in 1986, the year my dad, brother, and I were all committed. Call it manic depression or by its new, polite name, bipolr disorder. Whichever you wish. We stick to our folklore and call it the whim-whams.”

“But there’s more. When I was on my way to the event today, Carolyn texted me and told me that Steve and Eve got married over break. Six months after he broke up with me, and after he kept telling me he didn’t see marriage inhis future! And did I tell you that he broke up with me at the school, during the Fitness Fun-a-Thon fundraising eventwe worked at?” Her face grew reflective. “I was handing out bottled water when he asked me to go behind the hydration station so he could talk to me privately. The whole time, Eve kept staring at us from the finish line of the three-legged race.She knew I was getting dumped before I did.”

“I had never wanted attention, and now I waspurposely inviting it. As I had told Dr Duverger, I had little vanity, and yet one recentmorning I realized that I was avoiding looking at my own reflection, because it wasdisturbing. Did I wish to go through life like this? Yes, the scar was a horrible mementoof what I had done to my father, but now I questioned whether I needed it to be soobvious. The actual weight was within me. I carried it as though it were a heavyearthenware pot of water. I had to walk through my days carefully, so as not to let it spillover. It was my own personal burden, not necessary to be shared with all who looked atme.”

“I’m going to go," he said."All right."He didn’t move. Then: "I don’t want to.""Do it anyway."He chuckled. "You’re a hard woman, Faith Devlin.""Hardy.""I didn’t know him. He isn’t real to me. Did you love him?""Yes." But not the way I love you. Never like that.”

“You were happy last night. This morning is a different story.""You think I have a hangover. I don't. Well a little headache, but not much. Just let this be a warning to you if you keep me from sleeping again tonight.""I kept you from sleeping? I kept you from sleeping?" he repeated incredulously. "You are the same woman who shook me out of a sound sleep at two a.m. yesterday morning, aren't you?""I didn't shake you. I kind of bounced on you, but I didn't shake you.""Bounced," he repeated."You had a hard-on. I couldn't let it go to waste, could I?""You could have woke me up before you started not to let it go to waste.""Look," she said exasperated, "If you don't want used, don't lie on your back with it sticking up like that. If that isn't an invitation, I don't know what is.""I was asleep. It does that on its own." It was doing it on its own right know, as a matter of fact. It poked her in the stomach.She looked down... and smiled. It was a smile that made his testicles draw up in fear.With a sniff, she turned her back on him and ignored him as she finished showering."Hey!" he said, to get her attention. Alarm was in his tone. "You aren't going to let this one go to waste are you?”