“Just so I'm clear...you thought a brothel would be a suitable place to host a birthday party for a woman?”

“Would you like something to drink?” I asked, thinking my rusty host skills were going to get a workout this afternoon while dealing with a woman so clearly raised on etiquette and form.”

“If you don't read my book, I'm not coming to your birthday party.”

“On my seventh birthday party:No, you can't have a bouncy house at your birthday party...What do you mean, why? Have you ever thought to yourself, where would I put a god-damned bouncy house in our backyard?...Yeah, that's right, that's the kind of shit I think about , that you just think magically appears.”

“I thought maybe since it's you birthday Mr. Tall, Dark and Tattooed would be around. I'm telling you ladies, I'm in stage four lust and it can only be cured by Rule.”

“On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late!”