“How can you not like Britney Spears?”

“…Heath Ledger once said to me, ‘It’s built you up to knock you down and that’s all it is.”

“Beauty is grace and confidence. I've learned to accept and appreciate what nature gave me.”

“Life is full of risks anyway, why not take them?”

“Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?”

“In China today, Bill Gates is Britney Spears. In America today, Britney Spears is Britney Spears-and that is our problem.”

“Have you noticed how difficult it is just to get along in the world? If you're no good at all in your job, people treat you badly and eventually you will be unemployed. And if you're a little better than competent, everyone expects miracles from you, every single time. Like most of life, it's a no-win situation. And if you dare to mention it, no matter how creatively you phrase your complaints, you are shunned as a whiner.”