“People who read always have something interesting to say.”

“I’m not a sociopath or a freak (although I don’t suppose people who are sociopaths or freaks self-identify as such); I just don’t enjoy being with people. People, at least in my experience, rarely say anything interesting to each other. They always talk about their lives and they don’t have very interesting lives. So I get impatient. For some reason I think you should only say something if it’s interesting or absolutely has to be said.”

“This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.”

“People who say they don't have time to read simply don't want to.”

“The whole thing reminds me of graduate school seminars, except these people are smart and funny and have something interesting to say.”

“Always have something to say. The man who has something to say and who is known never to speak unless he has, is sure to be listened to.”