“I don't want to be dying. I want to be dead.”

“I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I'm scared to live and scared to die.”

“I wanta go to Tangiers, I want girls, Iwanta write the biggest book in the world,I want spring to come, I want, I want--Wanting, I get; getting, I lose; losing, Isuffer; suffering, I die--NOT WANTING, I DON'T GETNOT GETTING, I DON'T LOSENOT LOSING, I DON'T SUFFERNOT SUFFERING, I DON'T DIE SUFFERING.”

“Standing on the shore, I prayed for my dead. I praised them. I stupidly hoped that the lake would heal my small wounds. Then I stripped off my clothes and waded naked into the water.Jesus, I don't want to die today or tomorrow, but I don't want to live forever.”

“I don't want to die without any scars, I don't want to continue my life without feeling everything that I was given, even if the scars are left on my heart. I just don't want to die without scars”

“My whole life, I wanted to be dead, but I didn't actually do anything about it. I guess I didn't want to be dead; I wanted relief. I wanted to be happy and peaceful." "That's it," she said. "It's not about dying; it's about stopping the pain." (289)”