“These impossible women! How they do get around us!”

“It's not fair, men get to go off and chase around the country and get medals for doing stupid things and women get to sit home and worry.”

“The notion that women shouldn't care about personal success -- or the work that gets them there -- is disengenuous; it is impossible for women not to have jobs anymore, so it doesn't make sense to expect them to structure their lives around getting married. The real failure is our cultural incapacity to make room for women to live and thrive outside of traditional conceptions of femininity and relationships. After all, we can eat without marriage, but not without work.”

“I have never figured out how women work but I do know that their skin color has no significance. Black or white, every last one is pretty pink on the inside and they are all impossible.”

“No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.”

“It's a wonder, given your prowess with these delicious women, that there aren't dozens of little Bonapartes running around. Tell me, how do you account for that?”