“Why was love so easy for some people and so hard for others?”

“Why is life so difficult for some people and not for others?Why do some people have to struggle so much?”

“I lacked some essential skill for attracting people, for giving and receiving love easily. It meant too much to me. I seemed to be driving away the people I most wanted. Finally I had realized that getting someone to love you was like trying to coax a bird to perch on your finger . . . it wouldn't happen unless you stopped trying so hard.”

“May be, Churchill had pointed out, I should stop trying so hard not to love Hardy, and accept the some part of me might always want him. "Some things," he said, "you just have to learn to live with.""But you can't love someone new without getting over the last one.""Why not?""Because then the new relationship is compromised."Seeming amused, Churchill said that every relationship was compromised in one way or the other, and you were better off not picking at the edges of it.I disagreed. I felt I needed to let Hardy go completely. I just didn't know how. I hoped someday I might meet someone so compelling that I could take the risk of loving again. But I had serious doubts such a man existed.”

“It was unfair that people who longed for love the most, searched the hardest for it, found it so elusive.”

“I had learned that there were substitutesfor a mother who couldn't be a mother. Youcould find love with other people. You couldfind it in places you weren't even looking.But the original wound would never heal. Iwould carry it with me forever, and so wouldTara. That was the trick . . . accepting it, goingon with your life, knowing it was part ofyou.”

“Easy, Marks,' he whispered. 'One of us has to have some self-control, and it really should be you.”