“His sense of humor is purely cheap vaudeville, yet everyone falls for it.”

“I refuse to have a life partner who spends his days pretending to be on a BBC show.”

“I entered his apartment without being invited, which is perfectly fine if you're not a vampire.”

“While he bore no real resemblance to anyone in my family, his features were a collection of my mother's and father's best attributes, with a few of Gregory Peck's thrown in.”

“The latter. She had a good run," Sook said, doing a little shrug. It was his usual response to death at Mapleshade, and it was a safe bet that he felt that way about himself. Like most twice-widowed, Korea-vet, nature-loving, gun-enthusiast, bilingual, weed-connoisseur great grandfathers of five, he'd lived a full life.”

“David's brow unfurled and he crouched down on the floor with his daughter. 'Did you have a fun time with your aunt Izzy?' he asked in a high squeaky voice.Sydney stared at him blankly.'Say good morning to Aunt Izzy.'Sydney stared at me blankly.'Remember me from last night?' I asked.'Did you have fun?' Maggie asked.'I wouldn't go that far,' I replied.'I was actually talking to Sydney, Maggie said.'Oh well, she'd probably agree. We had an okay time, didn't we, Sydney?''Why can't you talk to her like a normal person?' asked David. 'I'm the only one talking to her like a normal person. You sound like a eunuch.”

“It's not like I didn't think I had any demons. I did, but I could name them- and even provide an address and telephone number for each. As far as I was concerned, those demons could go to therapy instead of me.”