“Mrs. Chandler shouted after us, "And I hope that was all-natural food coloring you put on my dog!”

“We knew we were doomed. The kiss was a warm acceptance of years of bickering, years of me consuming foods that I found barely edible and Henry tidying up after someone who already thought she had tidied up. When I kissed Henry I wasn't imagining Ex-boyfriend #13; I was picturing Husband #1.”

“....You should keep dental floss on you at all times; when your eyesight goes, quit driving; don't keep too many secrets, eventually they'll eat away at you. But the most valuable lesson he taught me was this: Every day we get older, and some of us get wiser, but there's no end to our evolution. We are all a mess of contradictions; some of our traits work for us, some against us. And this is what I figured out on my own: Over the course of a lifetime, people change, but not as much as you'd think. Nobody really grows up.”

“I liked finding dirt on people. It made all my trespasses seem trivial.”

“You're a terrible cook, Daniel.""I know," he replied, "But it's the effort that counts.""I hope that's not the slogan for your dental practice.”

“But the most valuable lesson he taught me was this: Every day we get older, and some of us get wiser, but there's no end to our evolution. We are all a mess of contradictions; some of our traits work for us, some against us.”

“You know what I'm thinking?' Maggie said.I had no idea.'Nope,' David replied. Apparently David didn't know either.Maggie turned to me with pleading eyes.'Our babysitter has the flu.''I'm sorry to hear that,' I replied.Dead silence.I honestly had no idea what Maggie was getting at, so I misread the silence.'It's not serious, I hope,' I said sympathetically.”