“My father insisted that the boys in my life were directly responsible for my juvenile-delinquent tendencies.My mother, more accurately, assumed that I was the bad influence.”

“While he bore no real resemblance to anyone in my family, his features were a collection of my mother's and father's best attributes, with a few of Gregory Peck's thrown in.”

“I liked finding dirt on people. It made all my trespasses seem trivial.”

“Mrs. Chandler shouted after us, "And I hope that was all-natural food coloring you put on my dog!”

“Milo refreshed Rae's drink and said, Talk to her. You need to get it off your chest." Then Milo turned to me and said, "Why don't you try a more subtle approach.""I demand you tell me your troubles," I said to my sister."You're not as funny as you think you are," Rae replied.”

“ISABEL: Sorry I missed my session Monday.DR. RUSH: Would you like to tell me why?ISABEL: I was depressed.DR. RUSH: That's a good reason to come to therapy.”

“I don't have any kids, so I'm not as worried about my heirs as the rest of you, but still: I think the youth of tomorrow might be better off if they knew the physical sensation of cracking a spine and turning the page.”