“You're a terrible cook, Daniel.""I know," he replied, "But it's the effort that counts.""I hope that's not the slogan for your dental practice.”

“You know what I'm thinking?' Maggie said.I had no idea.'Nope,' David replied. Apparently David didn't know either.Maggie turned to me with pleading eyes.'Our babysitter has the flu.''I'm sorry to hear that,' I replied.Dead silence.I honestly had no idea what Maggie was getting at, so I misread the silence.'It's not serious, I hope,' I said sympathetically.”

“Milo refreshed Rae's drink and said, Talk to her. You need to get it off your chest." Then Milo turned to me and said, "Why don't you try a more subtle approach.""I demand you tell me your troubles," I said to my sister."You're not as funny as you think you are," Rae replied.”

“....You should keep dental floss on you at all times; when your eyesight goes, quit driving; don't keep too many secrets, eventually they'll eat away at you. But the most valuable lesson he taught me was this: Every day we get older, and some of us get wiser, but there's no end to our evolution. We are all a mess of contradictions; some of our traits work for us, some against us. And this is what I figured out on my own: Over the course of a lifetime, people change, but not as much as you'd think. Nobody really grows up.”

“David's brow unfurled and he crouched down on the floor with his daughter. 'Did you have a fun time with your aunt Izzy?' he asked in a high squeaky voice.Sydney stared at him blankly.'Say good morning to Aunt Izzy.'Sydney stared at me blankly.'Remember me from last night?' I asked.'Did you have fun?' Maggie asked.'I wouldn't go that far,' I replied.'I was actually talking to Sydney, Maggie said.'Oh well, she'd probably agree. We had an okay time, didn't we, Sydney?''Why can't you talk to her like a normal person?' asked David. 'I'm the only one talking to her like a normal person. You sound like a eunuch.”

“Mrs. Chandler shouted after us, "And I hope that was all-natural food coloring you put on my dog!”

“I entered his apartment without being invited, which is perfectly fine if you're not a vampire.”