“Are you okay?" she whispers, giggling.Me? Oh sure. You might have to carry me out of here, though."What happened?"I created a distraction."I gathered that."Step stool, encyclopedias, floor."I see. Well, I can't thank you enough."Sure you can. Help me flunk enough tests, so I drop out of the 'torian range."Can't you just tell Abernethy that you have a reputation as a dumbshit to keep up, and you don't want the attention?"Flunking is more fun.”

“He waits a moment. And then murmurs, 'I love you, Janie Hannagan. I can't get enough of you. I wake up in the morning and all I want to do is be with you.' He props himself up on his elbow. 'Do you have any idea how unusual, how important that is to me?”

“I've got a huge, terrible problem."Oh no! Not that horrible toenail fungus that takes six months to cure?"No, no, no. Much worse. This is shocking news. Are you sure I should tell you while you're driving?"I've got my headset on. Both hands on the wheel. Windows rolled up. Go for it."Okay, here goes...Principal Abernethy called me this morning to let me know I'm in the running for valedictorian."There is silence.A rather loudish snort.And guffaws.Congratulations," she finally says, laughing. "What ever are you going to do?"Fail ever assignment from today onward."You won't be able to."Watch me.”

“So, what are you doing tonight?"Me?" Janie laughs. "Homework, of course."You want company?" Carrie's looking wistful.Do you have homework to do?"Of course. Whether I do it or not is the real question.”

“Cabel smiles and hangs up. "Guess what."What," Janie says.We can go out on our first date."Woo hoo!"And guess what else- You're buying."Me? Why?"Because you lost the bet."Janie thinks for a moment. Punches Cabel in the arm. "You did not fail five quizzes or tests!"I did. I have proof.”

“Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you.''I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.”

“So, ah, I'm not sure if you know this, but you're not wearing a shirt.""Distracting, isn't it?”