“My heart breaks. Also not the first time. I long to go after him. To find himand hold himand kiss himin the loveliest of gardens.”

“When you meet someone so different from yourself, In a good way, you don't even have to kiss to have fireworks go off. It's like fireworks in your heart all the time”

“Looking at these pictures,I wonder,did that part of methat flourished around him,like prized perennialsunder a tender gardener's care,die along with him?”

“Was it hard?" I ask.Letting go?"Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real.”

“I'm in a castlestanding in a tower,looking down through a windowat the beautiful garden,the sun setting in the distance. The beauty in the momentbrings tears to my eyes. Sky blue pink, the backdrop for roses in ever colorblooming in the garden.”

“Today there's no one here, so I find a rock and open my notebookfilled with letters to Lucca,reading them,noticing how the lettersdecreased in frequencyover the past couple of months.When i started,shortly after he died,I wrote them every day.I hurt so bad, I wanted to scream,but I couldn't,so my words on the pagebecame a diary of the pain.”

“Was it hard?” I ask.“Letting go?”“Not as hard as holding on to something thatwasn’t real.”I gulp. “Can I ask how you did it?”“I just decided, Ava.That’s all.I just decided.”