“Can you just tell them we don’t need Jesus, Girl Scout cookies, or whatever the Mormons worship, and let me lie here in peace?”

“Are we going where I think we are?” he asked.“Hell, yeah,” I told him, turning the key in the ignition. I steered the car toward the highway that would take us to my mother’s house. “And I hope she’s got a few good answers.”“I hope,” Ramon said, “that she’s made cookies.”I glared at him.“Don’t look at me like that. If we were going to interrogate my poor mother for whatever, you’d be secretly hoping she’d made you tamales. I’m just honest enough to admit it.”

“So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.”

“Sam, you need experts on this, and I love you, but—”“I’m so new I have that new-car smell about me?”

“I stared at the pictogram of a burger nestled between similar representations of shakes, sodas, and fries, on the front of my register. I wondered why humankind seemed so dead set on destroying all of its accomplishments. We draw on cave walls, spend thousands of years developing complex language systems, the printing press, computers, and what do we do with it? Create a cash register with the picture of a burger on it, just in case the cashier didn't finish the second grade. One step forward, two steps back-- like an evolutionary cha-cha. Working here just proved that the only thing separating me from a monkey was pants.”

“He got in my face and started jabbing a finger into my chest. “Then we don’t want your help, if this is what it looks like. First you bring a human among us, and now this? I don’t like your kind, and I’m not the only one. They can’t be trusted. You can’t be trusted.” He drew the last word out, practically hissing it. That’s our Eric. What a charmer. Ladies, try not to swoon.”

“On top of all that, you're naked. And while I'm going to hate myself for this later, could you put on some clothes? At least just for a little while, so I can think. Then you can go right back to being naked. All the time. With my full blessing.”