“Twinkle the Destroyer wasn't alone, it seemed. There were more gnomes than I thought. Pip the Bringer of Pain, Chauncey the Devourer of Souls, Cuddly the Inexplicable, Gnoman Polanski, Pith the Bitey, Gnome ChompSky, Gnomie Malone, Chuck the Norriser- the list went on.'It's like a mishmash of violent imagery, TV, an political references''I told you they like TV. I'm not sure the understand everything they see, though, so they don't fully grasp what they're stealing their names from. Like, I think Gnome ChompSky just thought it sounded tough and Chuck the Norriser came from watching too many episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. They believe Chuck Norris is a demigod''Who doesn't?”

“Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. "For instance, while I do think that Chuck Norris specializes in the roundhouse kick, I don't think it's accurate to say, 'Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried.”

“Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.”

“When Chuck Norris stands in front of a mirror it shatters because the mirror knows never to stand between CHUCK NORRIS and CHUCK NORRIS.”

“I had a dream I took the form of Chuck Norris and kicked your ass. Then I impregnated you from across the room.”

“Even little Herley, who couldn't have been more than eight, looked like he could go six rounds with Chuck Norris without breaking a sweat.”