“But have you ever overheard two women discussing men? Men are crude liars, comparing their drabs, but women - I'd rather have [an] anatomist dissect me alive than to listen to the things the ladies say about us when they think they are alone.”

“(at age thirteen) I think sharks smile like women dad. Like Jenny's smiling at you right now. ...But have you ever noticed how porpoises smile like effeminate men? They're bi-sexual, you know. Me, I'd rather have sex with a porpoise than a shark.”

“On average, women are better liars than men. But the best liars are men, because politicians are still predominantly men.
”

“I don’t know why women want any of the things men have when one of the things that women have is men.”

“The real thing that keeps men and women apart, is fear. Women blame men and men blame women, but the culprit is fear, women are afraid of one thing, men are afraid of a different thing; the fears of women have to do with losing while the fears of men have to do with not being good enough for something. One is loss, the other is insecurity. Men are innately more insecure than women and women are innately more needful of companionship than men. It's good for both men and women to be able to recognize and identify these fears not only within themselves, but within each other, and then men and women will see that they really do need to help each other. It's not a game, it's not a competition, the two sexes need one another.”

“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”