“CP,' she hissed, more urgently now. 'We're only pretending for goodness sake. Just pretend I'm Jakey G and you're Heath Ledger. Go for it!”

“We'll need to clarify for the record, that I'm a pretend girlfriend. Pretend,” she demands. “Got it? If you're giving me that goofy look because you think there are going to be benefits as part of this deal, you can just hold it right there! Pretend girlfriend. Say it with me.” I shake my head at her outrageous comments. “Please. I've got that understood.” “Good.”

“I'm just going to pretend that a very good-smelling, incredibly warm stranger is sitting next to me, a harmless stranger.”

“I know you're a fool, Jim Hardy, but for heaven's sake pretend you're not for five minutes.”

“He isn't what he's pretending to be with her. I watch him all the time. I'm going to be there when he stops pretending. I'm going to be her bulletproof vest, her shield, her fallen fucking angel, whether she wants one or not. He's pretending he's almost human. He's no more human than me.”

“I'm not a liar, sir,' she said."'No, I'm sure you sincerely become whatever it is you're pretending to be.”