“This isn't just any shirt,' he told her. 'This shirt was worn by he-who-must-not-be-named in the first of the Twilight films.'Lara's mouth fell open. She blinked several times. What was he talking about? Voldemort wasn't even in Twilight.”

“He took her around the place, pointing out the hybrids and divulging a few of their clients. Lara could barely believe so many celebrities she knew were actually sick and in need of medical marijuana. She tried to make a mental note of their names but knew she'd forget them later, given that she'd already forgotten her own middle name.”

“Don't be frightened,' he murmured into her ear. 'I will protect you.'Lara sighed deeply. A Prince - promising to protect her. Yes please.”

“Would you like some sacred chocolate?' a girl asked, appearing suddenly at Lara's side. 'They've very special chocolates,' she said, pushing a plate of the goods in Lara's direction. 'They're raw and sweetened with Stevia.'Stevia, huh? Lara grabbed a chocolate truffle and popped it into her mouth, winking at the girl. She hoped the 'stevia' would kick in soon, because frankly, it looked like these women were having a better time than she'd had in ages.”

“Due to budget constraints I've rewritten the script, condensing all four of the Twilight Opuses into one epic screenplay. We'll shoot it over two days. I cut out New Moon,' he added quickly, 'Edward's not in it that much. And I also took out the bits in Italy, as well as all the fight scenes. Those are too expensive to film. And there are no wolves in it either...the CGI would have blown the budget.”

“Somehow, perhaps because of the way he spoke in a manner reminiscent of Jack Bauer from 24, Lara calmed down. She repeated his words in her head. Wait. Assess. Intel. Yes, OK, that sounded sensible. Then the hysterical coward in her reared up unannounced and she tried to run for the door again.”

“Where did you get them? Are they Stuart Weitzman? Prada Summer Collection?''Um, New Look, I think,' Lara told him.”