“Love is like cigarettes. It gives you a little pleasure while you're at it, but leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth and a pain in your chest.”

“A girl can stand just so much virtue.”

“This doctrine of total inability which declares that men are dead in sin does not mean that all men are equally bad, nor that any man is as bad as he could be, nor that anyone is entirely destitute of virtue, nor that human nature is equal in itself, nor that man’s spirit in inactive, and much less does it mean that the body is dead. What is does mean is that since the fall, man rests under the curse of sin, that he is actuated by wrong principles, and that he is wholly unable to love God, or to do anything meriting salvation. His corruption is extensive, but not necessarily intensive. It is in this sense that man, since the fall, is utterly indisposed, disabled, and made opposite to all good, wholly inclined to all evil. He possesses a fixed bias of the will against God, and instinctively and willingly and turns to evil. He is an alien by birth, and a sinner by choice. The inability under which he labors is not an inability to exercise volition, but an inability to be willing to exercise holy volitions. And it is this phase of it which led Luther to declare that ‘free will’ is an empty term, whose reality is lost; and a lost liberty, according to my grammar, is no liberty at all.”

“Depression is not madness, it's just depression, the loser version, the low-energy response to bad stuff that happens in your life. When you're depressed, you think you're the only one to have ever tasted this kind of hurt. And that lonely self-regard brings with it its own painful pleasure.”

“A cigarette is like a hamster, harmless until you stick it in your mouth and light it on fire.”

“Love's like a cigarette..You know you had my heart aglow, Between you fingertips.And, just like a cigarette, I never knew the thrill of lifeUntil you touched my lips.Then just like a cigarette, Love seemed to fade away and Leave behind ashes of regret..And, with a flick of your fingertips, It was easy for you to forget...”

“I'm getting chest pains...You give me chest pains Uncle Willie.It's my fault you get excited.Yes, it's your fault! I only get chest pains on Wednesdays.So come on Tuesdays.”