“Just because I squeezed my gigantic bottom into men’s trousers, you needn’t assume my brains have shrunk to masculine size.”

“I grow old … I grow old … I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.”

“I woke up horribly early the next morning to the sound of some sadistic bastard operating an electric hedge-trimmer just outside the window. I lay for a while hoping this prat would be struck by lightning or washed away in a bizarre flash flood. Neither happened, so I groaned and rolled out of bed.My skull had shrunk so that my brain was in imminent danger of being squeezed out of my ears, my teeth seemed to be covered in wool and my tongue was far too big for my mouth.”

“My horizon's have shrunk and I have only endings to write.”

“Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.”

“I've never really apologised to her for that specifically, mostly because I didn't know how to apologise for my brain not working.I can't see girls being cool with... "Hey, sorry about my brain not working right; that things is nuts sometimes. I know I might have confused you, but my brain confused me too. Anyhoo...just letting you know that was why! Hugs!"I mean, I'd be willing to try it once...but just for the story, really.”