“It was all because of his no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing great-great-grandfather!”

“When anything bad happens to me or someone I know, I always know who to blame. My no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather.”

“Well, let me tell you something, Caveman. You are here on account of one person. If it wasn't for that person, you wouldn't be here digging holes in the hot sun. You know who that person is?""My no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather.”

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.”

“What amazes me is that most days feel useless. I don't seem to accomplish anything-just a few pages, most of which don't seem very good. Yet, when I put all those wasted days together, I somehow end up with a book of which I'm very proud.”

“I do not like Jeff from, There's A Boy In The Girls' Bathroom, because in the beginning of the story he was just pretended to be Bradley's friend which I thought was a little rude because Bradley needed a real friend that would help him.”

“I may have ruined my life, but at least I got to eat some really good Chinese food.”