“Rattlesnakes would be a lot more dangerous if they didn't have the rattle.”

“WHEN AUGUSTUS CAME OUT on the porch the blue pigs were eating a rattlesnake—not a very big one. It had probably just been crawling around looking for shade when it ran into the pigs. They were having a fine tug-of-war with it, and its rattling days were over.”

“I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument— and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.”

“Words were dangerous when loosed. They were more powerful than cannon and more unpredictable than storms. They could turn men’s heads inside out and warp their destinies. They could pick up kingdoms and shake them until they rattled.”

“He was weak on philosophy and an excellent driver, but his driving was a lot more dangerous than his philosophy.”

“The "Holy-crap-that's-a-lot-of-pink" zone would have been a more accurate description.”