“When anything bad happens to me or someone I know, I always know who to blame. My no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather.”

“It was all because of his no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing great-great-grandfather!”

“Well, let me tell you something, Caveman. You are here on account of one person. If it wasn't for that person, you wouldn't be here digging holes in the hot sun. You know who that person is?""My no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather.”

“When Americans say it was great, I know it was good. When they say it was good, I know it was okay. When they say it was okay, I know it was bad.”

“Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame for anything.”

“The concept of portraying evil and then destroying it - I know this is considered mainstream, but I think it is rotten. This idea that whenever something evil happens someone particular can be blamed and punished for it, in life and in politics is hopeless.”