“Anyway, then it said on the news, 'And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten.'I looked down at Jas and said, 'Ooer.' Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons.Vati just looked at us like we were mad.”

“I gave my artistic laugh and also threw in some quirky language for good measure. "Lawks-a-mercy, no! I'm going to have a long bath and..."I looked shyly down. Which is pretty impressive to have done artistic laugh, quirky language and shyness all in the space of ten seconds.”

“Look, girls and boys are different. Girls like to be touched twenty times a day in a nonsexual way to feel good about themselves - that is why I tickle you and link arms with you - but boys think about sex, snogging and football, and also snogging whilst playing football. Simple.”

“As we drew near to the gates of Dother Hall the old bell in the belfry rang out. I said, 'I must go in, it's nigh on ten of the clock.' He half-turned away from me, his jacket collar hiding his expression. Was he angry? Disappointed?"Jo looked intently and I said, "Hungry?"Jo ignored me, but as she passed by acting out walking away from Phil, she allowed her hand to slap against my head.”

“I put my arm around her and said, "Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.”

“You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?''Look, shut up, people might hear.''What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?”

“He says we should take it easy and that maybe he overreacted a bit."Dave said, "A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.”