“As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.”

“I always want to tell him everything. Butinstead I said, “What’s your advice, Horn -meister?”And he started doing pretend beard strokingand said, “Well, luuurve is a many trouseredthing. . . .”

“I said, "Do you think she thinks it's me?"Jas said, "Well, it's pretty conclusive, isn't it? She said 'the most sniveling idiot I have ever come across.'"I said, "I didn't know that YOU have been seeing Masimo. Tom the Slug King is going to be very upset.”

“There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do?"I said, "Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.”

“I wonder if it is possible to have two boyfriends. I mean, times are changing. Relationships are more complicated. In France men always have mistresses and wives and so on. Henri probably has two girlfriends. He would laugh if you told him you just had one. He would say, 'C'est tres, tres tragique.'”

“As we drew near to the gates of Dother Hall the old bell in the belfry rang out. I said, 'I must go in, it's nigh on ten of the clock.' He half-turned away from me, his jacket collar hiding his expression. Was he angry? Disappointed?"Jo looked intently and I said, "Hungry?"Jo ignored me, but as she passed by acting out walking away from Phil, she allowed her hand to slap against my head.”

“Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.”