“I always want to tell him everything. Butinstead I said, “What’s your advice, Horn -meister?”And he started doing pretend beard strokingand said, “Well, luuurve is a many trouseredthing. . . .”

“There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do?"I said, "Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana.”

“As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.”

“Watching TV Mum said, 'Do you miss your dad?' and I said, 'Who?”

“Do you miss your dad?" And I said: "Who?”

“I said, "Do you think she thinks it's me?"Jas said, "Well, it's pretty conclusive, isn't it? She said 'the most sniveling idiot I have ever come across.'"I said, "I didn't know that YOU have been seeing Masimo. Tom the Slug King is going to be very upset.”

“Vaisey said, "Is it because your parents don't understand you?"Charlie said, "No, it's because our parents understand us very well, and that is why they wanted us to go away.”