“I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)”

“Unbelievable! I said, "What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?”

“Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke.”

“I can't believe the poo-osity of my life!”

“I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.”

“And that's when it fell off in my hand”

“Gingee, Gingee, it's meeeeeeeeeeee!!!'I could hear her panting up the stairs to my room. She kicked open my bedroom door and ran from the door and leapt onto the bed, covering me with kisses.'I LOBE you, my big big sister.'I couldn't get her off me.'Libby, just let me...''Kissy kissy kiss, snoggy snog.''That's enough, now let me...''Mmmmmm, groovy baby.'What is she talking about? She is supposed to be in kindergarten to learn how to grow up, not turn into an even madder person. Then she stood up on the bed and starting thrusting her hips out and singing her favorite:'Sex bum sex bum I am a sex bum.'Quite spectacularly mad.”