“I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.”

“Here is my recipe for a mood enhancer. Take a friend, preferably one with a really annoying fringe and outsize pants, and when she is rambling on swiftly, push her into a ditch and run away.”

“Gingee, Gingee, it's meeeeeeeeeeee!!!'I could hear her panting up the stairs to my room. She kicked open my bedroom door and ran from the door and leapt onto the bed, covering me with kisses.'I LOBE you, my big big sister.'I couldn't get her off me.'Libby, just let me...''Kissy kissy kiss, snoggy snog.''That's enough, now let me...''Mmmmmm, groovy baby.'What is she talking about? She is supposed to be in kindergarten to learn how to grow up, not turn into an even madder person. Then she stood up on the bed and starting thrusting her hips out and singing her favorite:'Sex bum sex bum I am a sex bum.'Quite spectacularly mad.”

“Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.”

“Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her.”

“The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.”

“I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.”