“P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs.P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.”

“I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.”

“Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, 'Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you.”

“Mum said, "It is the thought that counts."And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.”

“I am not an ice cream come! I am a human being!”

“I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.”

“I am a pop widow.”