“You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?''Look, shut up, people might hear.''What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?”

“Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus”

“As she left my room I knew I should shut up. But you know when you should shut up because you really should just shut up...but you keep on and on anyway? Well, I had that.”

“Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.”

“Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.”

“Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?”

“Anyway, then it said on the news, 'And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten.'I looked down at Jas and said, 'Ooer.' Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons.Vati just looked at us like we were mad.”