“You wouldn't say ' You've got the crappest eyes I've ever seen. Your eyes make me physically sick.”

“I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it.”

“Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on”

“I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen.”

“Who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs?"I said, "Come on then, they are down here."He said, "Tallulah, the answer to who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs is... me!!!!”

“You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets!”

“I put my arm around her and said, "Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.”