“Knowing the Princess was forced to swallow her pride, and it was probably so big it could choke a horse, Tag decided to honor his vow to assist her.”

“Since when do princesses go on quests? They are the ones who remain safely locked away in towers playing the role of damsel-in-distress!”

“I will only admit she does not make the average man’s eyes bleed, so she is not ugly in the physical sense.”

“For pity’s sake, shut your royal gob and stop with the incessant screaming!” he demanded, pressing a finger to his lips for silence. “It’s damned annoying.”

“look here you old, painted hussy! I am neither a tart, a trollop, nor am I a strumpet! I am a lady of refined breeding and culture, so bugger off, before this little poppet pops you one in that ugly, wrinkled mug!”

“Sensing this man had issued a challenge, Rose was not about to be outdone by a village idiot.”

“You are nuttier than a fruitcake, that’s what you are!”