“I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that”

“I always love it whenever Rose delivers one of her witty one-liners—particularly when it’s a completely serious situation. The contrast always amuses me, but then, I’m biased.”

“We’re here to send you back to Hell where you belong,” Tarren said, his eyes glinting dangerously. …Yeah, course he said that. Tarren is full of witty one-liners. He spends hours every night thinking them up and writing them down in his diary… No, I’ve seen it. It’s pink and got little flowers all over it. …Oh, now that’s just mean. Wait, you’re making me laugh, I gotta keep going…. The story. Stop interrupting. I’m losing my place.”

“I searched for something witty to say, settled for bare honesty. "I want to pee.”

“I only need to write about 3,000 one-liners a day to produce a million jokes a year. Simple. I’ll just get started after I take a nap.”

“Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN”