“What is it?” Leigh glanced up with uncertainty, then back to his groin with a sort of horrified fascination. “Well, um… is there something about immortals you haven’t told me?” “What? What do you mean?” he asked with bewilderment. Leigh shook her head, then leaned forward and said “Hello?” to his groin, only to stiffen again and jerk back as if it had hissed at her. “Are you talking to my penis?” Lucian asked with disbelief. “It talked to me first,” she said defensively, and frowned. “You didn’t mention this little skill.” Lucian decided she must be joking and laughed. “So, what did it say?” “It said, ‘Lucian? Lucian, are you there?’” He blinked. “Why would it say that?” “I don’t know. It’s your penis.”That’s when he recalled the cell phone in his pocket. A laugh bursting from his lips, Lucian reached in his pocket to retrieve the phone.”
“Can’t you do something for her?” his nephew finally asked, when several moments passed and her screaming anddidn’t stop. “I already have. I didn’t kill her,” Lucian said dryly, then added, “Slow down. You’re as bad as taxi drivers.” “And you’re a backseat driver,” Thomas muttered, then cursed under his breath. “Surely there are some drugs or something we could give her to settle her down?” Lucian glanced at him with interest. “Do you have any?” Thomas blinked. “No.” “Hmm.” He sat back in his seat. “Neither do I.” Thomas stared for a moment, glanced back at the woman in the back of the car, then said, “Her screaming is rather loud, don’t you think? Just a bit distracting for those of us trying to concentrate.” “Yes, it is,” Lucian agreed, and reached into his pocket for his earplugs. He popped them into his ears and closed his eyes, the shrieking in the car considerably muffled. He’d have killed the woman before the plane had landed without the earplugs. They were a blessing.”
“In the meantime," Phane said,his mismatched eyes suddenly bright,his tone heavy with sarcasm,"Lucian needs to decide if he's going to change his balas's diaper or let the rest of us pass out from the scent."Bronwyn burst out laughing,but a growl emanated from Lucian's throat."I'll change her diaper after I change yours,little birdie.""My 'Little birdie' isn't so little," Phane returned."Want to see?"Lucian sniffed."And make my eyes bleed?Fuck no!”
“Bring the luggage in, Thomas,” Lucian ordered with a frown as he approached the front. “What about the girl?” Thomas asked with irritation. “That’s what I meant.” Lucian stepped through the open front doors of the house.”
“I made you something to eat if you’re hungry.” Leigh peered at the steaming pile on the plate on the tray, then asked uncertainly. “What is it?” “Prime cuts in gravy.” “Prime cuts in gravy?” she echoed slowly. “Did you cook it?”"I opened the can and heated it up in the microwave for one minute. Someone named Alpo cooked it.” Leigh stiffened, her head shooting up, eyes wide with disbelief. “Alpo?” He shrugged. “That’s what the can said.” Leigh shook her head with bewilderment. “You can use a microwave, but not a phone, and don’t know that Alpo isn’t the chef, but the brand name for dog food?” There was something seriously wrong here.”
“I thought you said that after this many years nothing should embarrass him?" Leigh said with gentle amusement. Lucian grunted. "I guess he's more sensitive than I thought.""I am NOT sensitive," Cale snapped, irritated by the very suggestion. "It's probably his mother's fault," Lucian said, ignoring him. "Martine named him after Caliope, the muse of poetry. Between that and his father dying when he was only fifty, he's probably suffered under Martine's namby-pamby influence.”