“Don’t be so concerned,” he whispered. “We will get through this, I promise.” “What makes you so certain?” I couldn’t help my skepticism. “We have no other choice,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Is that really all you can come up with?” I scowled. “Couldn’t you just lie and tell me you have some kind of secret badass weapon that is going to make this a piece of cake?”

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding very sorry at all. “I… well, nevermind.”“Nevermind?” I couldn’t help but sneer. “You just broke into my uncle’s lighthouse. Don’t you tell me to nevermind.”

“Ok. And we are getting there… how?” she inquired, her words dripping with skepticism. “Wait… don’t tell me. Your supersonic spaceship is parked outside the window waiting for us to jump aboard!” “No… we will not be using a Star Transporter today. Instead, we will be using a teleporting device. I must prepare you,” he replied so matter-of-factly.”

“It would’ve been easier to die. It’s not that I want to be dead now. I don’t. I have a lot in my life that I get satisfaction from, that I love. But some days, especially in the beginning, it was so hard. And I couldn’t help but think that it would’ve been so much simpler to go with the rest of them. But you—you asked me to stay. You begged me to stay. You stood over me and you made a promise to me, as sacred as any vow.”

“We have got to cool down. You’re driving me crazy.” I bit my lip as I stared up at him mischievously. “I thought that was the whole point.” He shook his head and groaned. “You really want me to get shot, don’t you?” “Not at all. We couldn’t do this anymore if you were.” I had no idea what made me feel so bold with him. I’d never behaved this way with anyone in my entire life, but I liked it. The things he made me feel were incredible.”

“I would carry some of it if I could, Bean said silently. Like I did today, you can turn it over to me and I’ll do it, if I can. You don’t have to do this alone.Only even as he thought this, Bean knew it wasn’t true. If it could be done, Ender was the one who would have to do it. All those months when Bean refused to see Ender, hid from him, it was because he couldn’t bear to face the fact that Ender was what Bean only wished to be — the kind of person on whom you could put all your hopes, who could carry all your fears, and he would not let you down, would not betray you.I want to be the kind of boy you are, thought Bean. But I don’t want to go through what you’ve been through to get there.”