“He checked out his surrounding. More books. A drinking fountain. A poster showing a guy slam-dunking a basketball with one hand and holding a book in the other, urging kids to READ! Weird, thought Steve. How can he even see the hoop?...You see, Steven, Librarians are the most elite, best trained secret force in the United States of America. Probably in the world.""No way.""Yes way.""What about the FBI?""Featherweights.""The CIA?"Mackintosh snorted. "Don't make me laugh. Those guys can't even dunk a basketball andd read a book at the same time.”

“Every Librarian is a highly trained agent. An expert in intelligence, counterintelligence, Boolean searching, and hand-to-hand combat.”

“This was so unfunny, Steve had to laugh.”

“A clue! From M!""Who's M?""Maybe M is for Mackintosh! Maybe Grabes ans Mackintosh are in cahoots!""Or maybe M is for Mom. Also, who says 'cahoots'?”

“Dana was what Steve called a "silent partner" in the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency. Being a silent partner meant that Dana didn't carry a business card, that his name didn't appear on the company letterhead, and he wanted nothing to do with the Brixton Brothers Detective Agency.”

“Dear Mom,I won't be home this weekend because I'm wanted for treason and I have to clear my name. Also, I took the last Sprite from the fridge.Love, Steve”

“If you’re looking for lollipops and rainbows while you shop for the latest best seller, you best not come to me. I won’t chat you up and tell you how cute your kid is. I won’t smile and flirt. I won’t stroke your ego about the jewelry you are wearing or the shirt you have on. I will help you find what you need. I will recommend books and hell I even talk about what I liked about one book over another but all that other shit is just not my thing.”